I Have a Name, SO USE IT!

This has been my pet peeve since I was a young married mommy. One of my Oh I really wish I hadn’t moments. My ex husband called me honey, sweetie, my love and a number of other cutesy little names. My theory was he had to do that so he wouldn’t mess up. The only things my ex gave me were three beautiful kids I mostly raised alone and a wide open view of deception. I also dislike it when random people call me these names. Trust me, I am NOT a deer or a dear one, definitely not your hun and not looking to be your sweetie either. I have a name, I like my name and depending on our relationship depends on what you get to call me.

Growing up my mom (I miss her daily) called me Jennifer or JJ and no other variations ever. She stopped calling me JJ when I was about 11 or 12 my guess is I grew out of that name for her. She did not like it at all that others called me shortened versions of my name. She also did not like that I wished she wouldn’t call me Jennifer. This name was highly used when I was in school so much that at one point there were 4 of us in one class and probably 10 in the grade altogether and I went to a smaller school so maybe we had 120 to 140 kids in our grade and at least a third of those were boys. I always wanted to be called something unique, something different and original. In junior high and high school I took foreign language classes so I could pick a new name. Yes, I really did. Through the years I was Monique, Josephine, Genevieve and one year I even had a Spanish name. I didn’t get Spanish so instead I took four years of French and still could only say a few phrases after four years. I can read French a LOT better than I can speak it or understand it spoken. It is a beautiful language to listen to I just am unable to keep up and understand at the same time.

My grandparents, aunts and uncle call my Jenny. Except for my grandpa he would only call me JJ, I miss him too. My friends when I was little would also call me Jenny. Finally when I hit junior high I realized I could actually tell people what to call me and what I wanted the teachers to call me as well. So during this time I became Jen and discovered who Jen was for a long time. About 6 years ago my life took another turn and I changed my name variation again. Now and forever more (or until I say so) I am Jenn. Unless of course we are introduced for the first time in a formal setting or business setting then I am Jennifer. I had a friend tell me I use to be fun Jen and then I changed and became snooty Jenn. All because I added an “N”. My life changed, I was trying to move past some pain and be healthy in my mind again. I was trying to show myself that the past and the present are two different things and the simply act of adding an “N” to the way I spell Jenn seemed small put powerful. A way for me to see things clearly for myself.

I love my name, it may not be the most unique out there, but I promise I am NOT like any other JJ, Jen, Jenn, Jenny, Jenni or Jennifer out there. I am me, flawed, broken, strong, dependable, introverted, passionate and alive. My name has meaning and I associate my name with who I am personally. When people call me one of the many pet names used out there today it makes me feel like I am not worth the effort to remember, like I am not worth it at all.

Weekly Writing Challenge: Power of Names