Attitudes and Sunshine

I have been dealing with a lot of negative attitudes lately. Everyone expecting someone else to improve their attitudes or they think their negative attitude is because of someone else’s actions. Pretty soon all of this negativity starts to rub off on me. Snuggling up against me like a warm, soft, fuzzy blankey. Guess what? It is time to shower the world with SUNSHINE!! Back off grumpy attitudes and poor pitiful me crybabies and wallow in the glow of the awesome sunshine.

We will see how long that lasts me tomorrow. Hopefully for most of the day. I can sadly say I only made it about 20 minutes at work today before I was the one with a negative attitude. And yes, I did try to cast blame on others for my negative attitude as well. Not successfully however, as it is my poor reaction to my feeling overwhelmed at work and not necessarily anything any one person does. It could also be the fact that I obviously do not get enough sleep. Thankfully tomorrow I get to try again to enjoy the sunshine and have a better attitude. 🙂

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Rain and Snow

Fall is around us now. Rain fell on the earth last night followed by fat snowflakes. Everything around us is dying now, the trees are almost all dormant for the winter to come, the grass is fading to a dingy green and the garden in undercover for winter as well. The bugs are mostly gone and the outside animals are finding their winter homes. I welcome the cooler temperatures and the quiet colors of the winter to come. I am thankful that the hot summer days are over and once the end of winter arrives I will be again looking forward to the newness of the spring to come. Until then I will dream of the next snowfall and hope that it sticks around for longer than one morning.

Signs of Growing Up

My youngest daughter has been away these past few weeks. She has been working with some other young adults doing concessions at fairs. Our conversations are limited to a few text messages and an occasional phone call. Today she sent me a good morning text and then later told me one of her friends was in tears and planning on quitting. I am 4 hours away from where they are working. These girls have been friends for the past 12 years and my heart was broken after reading the text. Sadly I was unable to speak to either of them until about 8 hours later.

My lovely, sweet daughter told her friend NO. She was not going to quit and she wasn’t going to keep quiet about what happened either. Apparently another worker, who happens to NOT be a supervisor, took it upon herself to bully a 17 year old. The situation was handled and apparently there were some high emotions and a few more tears were shed. I told my daughter I was very proud of her for helping her friend stand up for herself and reporting unfair working conditions.

When I spoke to my daughter I could hear her friend giggling and the two of them were making plans to buy a llama. Thankfully it was not a real llama. My suggestion is to not tell these two ladies that you don’t like something because they will go out of their way to buy you a reminder of what you don’t like. Lucky for them their boss lady has a great sense of humor and will probably cherish her llama for a long, long time.

Hello Future

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Say hello to Samantha “Sammy” Samoa. Isn’t she adorable? She is my inspiration to always keep smiling. Tomorrow starts a new chapter in my life. I am not sure what my future holds for me but I am willing to give it a try. I am not feeling sad that my 30’s are over and I am not overly excited about starting my 40’s but I am thankful for everyday I have and everyday that has passed.

Things I am sad about:

  • Not having my mom to celebrate with and other loved ones that have passed
  • My children not being available to spend the day with me because we all work at different times
  • Not having a significant other to share life with
  • I have only one year left with my youngest daughter before she graduates high school

Things I am happy about

  • My children always make me happy to be alive
  • My dogs, I mean really they are warm and cuddly
  • I have a job I enjoy going to
  • I have more than one thing outside of work I like to do

Hope you are all taking the time to enjoy life 🙂

Be Kind Rewind

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Back in the day of video cassettes there was usually a sticker on the cassette reminding you to be kind and rewind. This was so the next person to rent the movie wouldn’t have to wait to watch the movie. I am not sure if many people actually took the time to rewind, I know we did and we had a separate machine just for rewinding. The kids liked to check all of our VHS cassettes to ensure they were ready to be watched. Some days I would like to rewind as well. My day or a couple of bad hours, of course I don’t have a rewind button so that option is out. I will instead learn what I can and try to do better in the next similar situation. I will continue to do my best to be kind.

Quantity VS Quality

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Is it better to spend more time, quantity, with your children or is it better to spend better time, quality, with them? How many parents ask themselves this question? How many professionals have answered this question? Does it matter? Do the kids even care? I would say yes both matter and the kids do care.

My son told me awhile back this story of how when ever he has something important to share or something he is excited or unsure about he calls his best friend. That when he is fighting with his best friend it is very hard for him to fully accept what is happening to him if he is unable to share with his best friend. It turns out I am his best friend. I was touched and honored to make this status with my oldest child. Growing up he and I had a lot of struggles finding a balance that worked for our communication styles and his medical issues. My son suffers from ADHD, Oppositional Behavior Disorder and recently diagnosed with PTSD. He also had some scary anger issues growing up as well and became violent on a few occasions. I believe that I achieved this honored status by both quantity and quality time spent with him and his younger sisters.

I was never one of those lucky parents who had access to unlimited childcare. My family watched my children whenever I needed to work and occasionally so I could go out but never for silly things like shopping or house cleaning. Those times I had to take my little ones along with me. We spent a lot of quantity time together when they were very young. Running here, doing that, driving them across town to my parents so I could go to work and then back again at the end of the day. During those times my children learned a lot of things. How to push my buttons was a great one and then they learned when mom says no don’t ask again.

We also did spend quality time together. My children had a very extensive collection of board games and movies. We would spend my time away from work doing nights of dinner and a movie where they would pick what we ate and what we watched. For holidays especially we had many years of no TV and had to spend our time doing other things like playing games and hanging out together. Some of my favorite quality times are when they allowed me to read to them. For years I read to them every night before they went to bed and if they didn’t fall asleep while I was reading I would lay with them and talk about their days, their hopes and dreams and occasionally tell them stories.

Finding your own balance between quantity and quality is the key. Today it seems I get very little of either considering my children are moving fast into adulthood or are already there. My favorite compliment when the kids were growing up was from another single mom who told me she admired how much time I spent with my children because it seemed like we were always together and almost always laughing and have fun.