Today marks the start of the newest adventure in my life. Life without my oldest daughter at home. Today she packed up her car and drove 3 hours away to her new life. My life is now a little bit emptier and quieter because she flew the coop. I have cried so many tears in the last 24 hours and I am sure there will be a lot more before I am able to accept the newness of my new life. I will miss seeing her face daily, her unexpected visits at work, her willingness to help with anything that needed to done (except of course dishes and mowing) and her mile a minute happy chatter. I will miss our occasional lunch dates, shopping trips and late night talks. I will miss her with every ounce of myself. Her little sister has cried many tears as well and she is struggling with the idea of now being an only child.
When my son moved out to start his adult life I didn’t have these same struggles. My emotions were happy and excited for him to be starting his new adventures without me. I think it helped that he was only moving across town. I have a feeling if he moves more than 10 minutes from me I lose it all over again.
The past month has been emotionally hard leading up to today. I hope that she finds school to be more challenging than she found it here and that this move was worth it. I hope she is able to find a job quickly and isn’t saddled with the normal adult worries of how she is paying for rent, insurance and food. I hope she knows how much I love her and miss her and what a positive impact she has had in every life she has touched. I hope that my mom, her nana, has a direct view from heaven to watch over my little girl. I hope that after she is finished with school that she still wants to move back and be a teacher here and make a difference in the community she grew up in. Of course if she chooses not to I am sure in 4 years I will be better able to deal with her living further away from me, well at least I hope so.