Watching my children struggle is very frustrating for me. As their mom I want to make everything perfect in their worlds. As an adult I understand that is unreasonable for me to achieve and not very beneficial for them. I am beginning to believe that at some point good things will happened for them so they do not have to struggle with everything.
My youngest daughter is a Junior in high school and has two and a half weeks of school. This year she applied for programs that would benefit her life and her community and for some reason was not selected for either program. The first was a program to promote leadership in the community and get young people involved in finding solutions for problems that exist. This program is suppose to help the young people involved build their own leadership skills as well. She was not selected, her heart was broken and she moved on and involved herself in Key Club instead. The next program she applied for was to work with elementary school kids for one hour a week to assist them with their school work and just be their buddy. These kids come from homes where they may not get a lot of one on one time with adults because of a number or circumstances. These children usually also need assistance getting their school work done. She was also not selected for this program. She is feeling disappointed in herself and her abilities to do good things. She wanted to make a difference in a young person’s life and because she is only 17 there are not a lot of options to volunteer with kids unless it is through school. The other things that have added to her sadness with school are she has not had her Junior visit, this is a visit to make sure she has a plan or at least knows her options after high school, she didn’t get assigned to a job shadow and she decided to quit band because the teacher was rude too many times. She isn’t the best trombone player, but she did like trying her best, it just wasn’t good enough for the teacher.
The struggles are not limited to my youngest daughter. Sadly my oldest daughter is facing so many similar struggles with college and other life aspects. She worked for a summer with two nonprofit organizations to earn a college grant and after working for the entire summer doing the program and working an actual job on top of that she was told the program was never approved and sorry there is no money. This caused all kinds of undue stress mainly like who is paying the last $1000.00 for her tuition now? The other downfall was one of the nonprofit organizations is viewed in a new light by her and she probably won’t ever be very committed to them in the future. Next she applied for an award that was very prestigious and was passed up because of politics. The person that received the honor new someone or perhaps didn’t rock the boat like my daughter does. My daughter is currently attending a private catholic college and what she expected to learn and what she is actually learning are two different planets. I might go so far as to say they are two different galaxies. She has learned little to nothing in a year and feels like she wasted time and money. Thankfully she voiced these concerns to someone who gave her wonderful advise telling her had she not experienced a bad learning environment she might not recognize a good learning environment and she now knows what kind of teacher she does not want to be. Her father has been a bitter disappointment lately for her as well. He promised to pay to have her car fixed and then called me the day it was at the shop to tell me he couldn’t afford to pay for it. This was after the mechanic called him and told him it was $500.00 and the car was unsafe to drive without the repairs and they could not let anyone pick it up until it was fixed. He also promised her an iPhone two years ago that she is still waiting for from him, luckily she has a job and saves her money and doesn’t actually believe his empty promises.
My son has his own set of struggles that have not been easy in the least. He struggled through school with bullies who happened to be girls. Try explaining to a school that girls do bully and get away with it because others can’t possibly believe girls bully. He deals with false promises from their father as well. With an added bonus that my son changed his last name to my maiden name and the father tries to get him to change it back as often as he can. My son was recently married in September of 2013 and his spouses family hates him. I am not really sure why they are unwilling to give my child a chance but it really hurts his feelings and hurts their relationship as well. He also has been having the hardest time finding a job which causes its own set of problems financially and for their relationship.
None of these things I can fix or make better for them. All I can offer is words of advise on how I have dealt with a similar situation or how I think others are missing out on their greatness. I also remind them how much I love them and how honored I am to be their mommy. This however doesn’t stop me from silently wishing their lives were easier and that they got the things they desired.