My greatest teacher was my mom. She showed me how not to live my life, how to be kind and how to forgive. She taught me other things as well but these I hold highest on my list. I didn’t know my mom the way I could have. I didn’t take the time when I had the chance and I regret that.
My mom wasn’t a one of those moms that was involved in your every move. She was more of a watcher. I remember her attending my school programs, I remember Christmas morning getting up early and her watching me open gifts, I remember birthday parties where she lit the candles and served the cake and ice cream. What I don’t have are memories of my mom holding me and snuggling me while she read me stories, playing games with me or watching movies I liked. I was her first child and my brothers didn’t start arriving until I was 8 years old. She was more involved with them. Once her grandchildren arrived she made even more progress in being involved in the things they liked to do. Her behaviors and parenting with me taught me to be more involved with my own children. I am the parent that when reading a story to her child I read EVERY word. I wouldn’t dream of making up words to match the pictures to avoid reading the actual story. This has been a tad frustrating when one of your son’s favorite books is called And One More Makes Ten by Ruth Lerner Perle. This is a fun Alpha Pets book and I am hoping someday to share it with my grandchildren. I play board games with my kids as well and I have an awesome rule of if you start something you must finish it. So unless you plan to play the whole game don’t start. When my kids where younger I took them everywhere I went. If I needed to go to the store they went, of course I bribed them. Either be good and get a treat or get to go some place fun afterward. We spent a lot of time at the library and at the park.
My mom also taught me to be kind to others. Everyone, not just the cool people. She started this too late but at least she tried. I was in junior high when she started this lesson with me. She wanted me to talk to kids who sat alone and not to call others names. I didn’t successfully learn the lesson she was teaching me until I was a parent myself. I started the lessons with my children while they were very young. I was lucky that they caught on a lot quicker than I did. Forgiveness is probably the best thing she taught me and the hardest for me to learn. She forgave my ex-husband for all of his transgressions against myself and my children. She forgave her son’s father for trying to kill her multiple times and the abuse she suffered at his hands. She forgave me for being a “difficult” child and she forgave anyone who ever hurt her. I still hold anger and bitterness for some that have hurt me. I have tried to let it go, I have tried to forgive but I have not been successful…..yet. I will continue to work on this because I still have time.
I wish my mom was still here sharing life with us. I wish I would have asked her questions about her childhood and growing up. I wish I could understand more of who she was other than my mom. I miss her daily. I miss sharing my life with her, the boring and the excitement of it all. I hope she knows she did have many positive impacts on my life and I am glad she was my mom.
Student, Teacher weekly writing challenge.