I Decided……

Yes I did, one morning I woke up and decided I wanted to be a single mother. I wanted to raise my children alone, with no help from their father at all. Just by myself. Why you might ask would I make this choice? Well because it is easy of course. Who wouldn’t want to be the go to person for their children’s every need, want and desire? 3 am nightmare, no problem. Oh wait 3 am nightmare from child 1 followed by 3:15 puking fest from child 2 who wasn’t feeling great before dinner, but you, single mother let them eat anyway. Silly mom. Then at 3:17 am child 3 is awake because of all the commotion caused by children 1 and 2. Oh look it is now 4:30 am and time to get everyone up so super single mother can be to work by 6 am.

Yes indeed, one morning I woke up and decided that would be a grand idea. I also decided that I would like random people to talk about how I was having children so I wouldn’t need to work and their taxes would pay for my children and myself. How I was a drain on society and that my children would end up just like me, a drain on society or worse. Never once did these well meaning, productive citizens, pillar’s of the community every ask me why or how I ended up in my current situation or what my plans where to better my life and the lives of my children. All they say was my obvious failures.

I could have taken the time to tell them that I did actually graduate from high school. That I was married prior to giving birth to my fist child and that yes, actually, all of my children do have the same father. It would be amazing if anyone was willing to listen they would know my plan was to finish getting my degree and have a better job prior to starting my family. Sometimes you get thrown a curve ball and things change. I would have gotten that degree. I needed my husband to assist with our first born child, but he would rather drink and party and I needed to get a job to buy diapers. So no, I did not finish my higher education, I got a job so I could buy diapers and clothes for my baby. The one who didn’t ask to be born into a family that was dysfunctional more often then it was functional.

I did decide that I would rather be a single mother then married to a man that cared more for drinking then he did his children or their needs. They deserved better and so did I. Of course along the way I have made mistakes and wished like crazy I had a handbook to help me along the way, but in the end all will be ok.

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3 thoughts on “I Decided……

  1. I loved this. I love how people just automatically assume that you chose this. Like its a choice that I had. I never had a choice for him to leave me. I never had a choice for him not to contact me. I never had a choice that he isn’t around. I have done everything in my power to be positive about everything. But, It never was my choice. The moment I knew I was going to do this all alone, I CHOOSE to be the best mother, I choose to work my ass of to get through college and work. I CHOOSE to give my son the best life I could. Those are things I have the choice of doing. And I sure the hell did decide on those things but, instead people want to assume your a whore who got pregnant and have no idea who the dad is. I understand you 100%. It never was a choice for us because we just always knew the best things without thinking twice is to be the best parent for our children.

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  2. […] My mind was full of frustration when I decided to start my blog. I was frustrated with how narrow minded people can be. This particular frustration is not because I am scared to tell them what I think. Rather the reality is I shouldn’t spout off to certain people because it may cause serious negative ramifications to my own life or the lives of my children. Here is the first post born from my frustration: I Decided…. […]

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